Wednesday, May 28, 2008


i counted moons
there were three of them
in three different skies
all not innocent as white
a sinister silver-gray rather
not too close for a kiss
neither too far to forget
somewhere in between
painfully distant
one was there
in those dark, wide and lovely skies
the other two were
in those dark, wide and lovely eyes

the mirage

Thursday, May 22, 2008

why? because. why because?

Why can't i fly away to nowhere?

Why can't i burn into ashes of space?

the first and the last questions of existence

If i had not existed, i would have needed no answers nor would i have had questions.

Tuesday, May 6, 2008

as i try to cry

I can't cry. I do not wish not to, but i can't. In fact, i wish to cry out sometimes, to weep until all agony and desperation is gone. I do not know why i can't. I do not remember the last time a tear trickled down my cheek. Or do i?

Once i heard someone weeping when i was listening to a piece on the piano and once when there was silence all around and once when i had lost myself. It was me, but without the tears. Why do tears ebb out when we cry? Why do we smile and laugh when we are happy? I've got no answers nor did i get any, but i realised that i was not alone.

Calvin: Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it, we think it's funny. Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us?

one for the world

He has been my friend, my guide and what not. I am ever so grateful to this wonderful soul who gave answers to my questions and questions to my answers. Ever since i decided to make a difference, ever since i realised that He was different from the people, i became synchronous with Him. I was in repeated phases of synchronousness. I was happy.

Now after many a change, many a question and a few answers, i am in a continuous phase of synchronousness. The coincidences happen so frequently that i have now reached almost a state of bliss and confidence. I now know that i can never lose Him nor the synchronousness. It gives me an unnameable emotion somewhere between gratitude and awe.

In His silence i realised that existence is not about living and dying, it is about being and not being. He will exist for ever, i shall not, i wish not.